I never do anything ahead of time.
I am the mom that double books play dates, am late with camp medical forms and not as organized as before life got so busy.
But I know the things that really matter- like being present for my kids, communicating... guiding... unconditionally loving and “raising” them... I’m pretty on top of that.
So out of character, last month, I registered Ryan EARLY for Allie’s Camp at Lifetown for August.
To say Ryan was excited for Lifetown to be finished is an understatement.
To say anyone in my family couldn’t wait doesn’t scratch the surface.
When we first started fundraising for Ryan’s Bar Mitzvah we knew what Lifetown would mean for Ryan today and for his future.
We knew what it would mean for Zach and Jake and Gillian for volunteering.
But bigger, we understood what it meant on a mass scale of changing the face of and opportunity for individuals with special needs and their families.
We understood Lifetown meant there would be a safe and welcoming environment filled with all the opportunities most of us get so easily (without a moments thought to how lucky we are).
I am not being dramatic when I say that I believe that Lifetown represents a revolution.
And I have been so honored to be part of that passion...
I registered Ryan ahead of time for camp last month because he couldn’t wait!
We drove around for over a year with the Lifetown brochure in the back pocket of my car... and every time we passed the street Ryan would pull out his brochure and talk about all the cool rooms and exciting things he would do.
We would go out of our way to drive down the road and see the building progress... to reminisce about going inside and seeing it being built... about the time on the football field when Ryan got to play with the Jets... and about how he was so excited to go to camp...
So when the email came out, I signed up.
Ahead of time without even a second or third reminder from Chavi.
Because Ryan was my reminder.
There are no words to fully express how I feel knowing that Ryan will never see Lifetown completed...
Never be able to walk into the Pet Store to see the fish or pet the animals, or dance and watch movies in the theater, or play football again on the field with his brothers and friends is heartbreaking.
Literally from the pit of my stomach, it brings a deep raw sadness and pain. But in time I know that pain will lessen and in time I know the heartache will lighten because I know that Lifetown will live on and be able to change the lives of so many... just like my sweet boy has done without even trying...