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Hugs and Headlocks...

Ryan loved big

Big heart

Big hugs and sometimes that meant big head locks.

Not a day went by that someone didn’t remind Ryan “soft” encouraging him to pet the dog softer, hug softer... play softer or count down “one, two, three finished” when he had you in one of his huge embraces.

The extra big hugs often ended with Ryan’s delicious devilish giggle which I ache to hear as much as I ache to feel him tonight...

When it came to affection, Ryan was just all in. He

showed his love without hesitation or holding back.

Everyday was full of “I love yous”, happy smiles as he looked at pictures on my phone and signed “mommy’s best three boys” (when coming across a picture of himself and his brothers) and giving many many hugs and kisses.

Ryan used affection to communicate, to get out of “trouble”, to be silly and just for the sake of being affectionate which he naturally was to his core.

So yeah... the line between headlock and hug often blurred.

But at the end of the day what I wouldn’t do for one more kiss...

one more tap on his cheek to tell me he wanted another kiss..

What I wouldn’t give for one more hug...

one more a giant headlock full of love....

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